| Thursday 17 September 1942 |
[Nov. 17th, 2008|11:07 pm] |
I will be queen, but I should not be Lady Frealaf by their laws, that will be Mindred, who they account not old enough. I do not understand that at all, can they not see that Hadrian Kyteler is already a prince whose words should be heard in their halls of debate, that Florian Leffoy will have fought their battles, and ours, long before they call him man?
If they live to see the next dawn and the one after that and the one after.
Mindred was not wrong about warning them, but now they've had their warning and they must fight their battle. And they must win it. There is nothing more to be had from us now. We ought to give back what Fæderswice took, and we will but we cannot do that until this threat has passed. And I do not see how it can. When I see Lord Frealaf, I see naught but a fallen feather, when I see myself I see that I am not to defend, that I have been taken into the storm. And yet. Our winds say they do not soon expect to answer to Fæderswice's son, but to the Raven, still, and always. |
|
|
| Tuesday 15 September 1942 |
[Sep. 3rd, 2008|06:51 pm] |
The storm is coming and they know it outside, the lady of the apples tells us. It is not coming tonight, I know, not here, but perhaps it came to them and I'm sorry for that. I hope not to the Dux Bellorum, if only for his son's sake.
It will come here soon enough though, right to our heart. And I don't know yet how we can possibly survive it. My father couldn't. I cannot. Not when Fæderswice bred the storm. Not even on wings can I survive it. |
|
|
| Sunday 13 September 1942; later |
[May. 18th, 2008|12:35 am] |
The enemies have begun to find the paths that lead here, it seems. I will take what is mine to my home. There I know all the paths, or He does, even if I cannot guard them. Our own mysteries. Our own war. No mirrors. The winds I know better, waking and sleeping. Even they do not blow as they did, but they still know me.
Who will stand beside us? Perhaps Kyteler will help, he looks at us more than most, maybe he listens well also. There is no one else to leave a feather to, She already has her people at home and so Charis is not here. |
|
|
| Sunday September 13, 1942 |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|06:22 pm] |
Stupid stupid children. I do not understand this at all, when they take all your children, why you let them keep them young so long. Little ones play with fire. Elders control it. Do you not want your children to become wise? |
|
|
| Thursday 10 September 1942 |
[Nov. 13th, 2007|09:36 am] |
They keep dying. I think you're wrong, great-grandfather. We're not safe here, and if Goyle can't make us safe then I'm coming home and I'll bring the last of our people home with me. |
|
|
| Tuesday 8 September 1942 |
[Sep. 1st, 2007|12:36 pm] |
She wasn't one of us, but she was Gillian's friend and she died here; she wasn't safe. Nothing can protect us in the end from what lives in our own minds if we can't protect ourselves, but if it turns out to be anything else that killed her, then how can he say we're safer here than my father was on our land? Here they don't even have to be our especial enemies to reach us. The castle has its own enemies.
Kyteler wants to talk and he even seems to know what he's speaking of. Maybe even more knowledge than Dashwood; and also something's been given to Dashwood, who then gives everything he can give to Kyteler. So Kyteler may be worth hearing, and eventually he might even be able to hear me. |
|
|
| Wednesday 2 September 1942 |
[Mar. 6th, 2007|12:14 pm] |
They came back, they were with the Ministry and the Ministry's soldiers, who wield iron now, iron as if it was only something solid that holds people in, as if they've forgotten what iron is. Or they remember and they think it isn't important any more. Gilly is safe now, and not hurt, but not always safe, not while they think that iron should be her cage.
She who was called Marvell is right: Leander must answer. He sees and he speaks and he does not think enough. Marvell as was is called Malfoy now and knows it, but that was always part of her name. Not always of Dashwood's, but now, his too. Some of his edges are gone. Some think it is the Ministry son Kyteler's doing, but it is not solely that.
We are all underground still, and the ones who are called the people of the raven and yet are not are with us. I would happily take their nest instead, save that they say they fear our enemy can strike here. If so, why am I here? I was here because he struck down my father at our home, and this is not the work of my people, or those of the Aranxta, and is yet thought stronger. But if it is not, I should not be here.
I already know that those who watch still watch me here. And that which follows has not lost the scent. |
|
|
| Tuesday 1 September 1942 |
[Jan. 22nd, 2007|08:52 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
They are not here, Gilly and Leander and Kurt and Daedalus. Warren is here and he doesn't smell right, but he never does. But Gilly is not hurt, I feel that much. Not properly. Some iron, enough iron that I can't feel her properly. But not burned.
I know I must attend school, because I must live and rule on this side, and have children that live and rule likewise. But I hate it. Gilly is not in the line, but I should be able to find her and protect her. And not let them take iron to her. And yet I cannot. And the land must have one more long winter with no youth. Great-grandfather can hold it, but it will be one year older and one year darker when I return for good. |
|
|
| Friday 15 August 1942 |
[Jan. 26th, 2006|09:05 pm] |
I feel as though the ground is taking a deep, deep breath and holding it in preparation for something. It is most disconcerting and I wish I knew what it was I wish it would stop. It's making me restless and tight as though I ought to be running somewhere or doing something. But I shan't. I have my school things now, and I would like to finish writting my summer essays. |
|
|
| Very early Sunday 2 August 1942 |
[Nov. 21st, 2005|03:25 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | exanimate | ] |
Morganna, I feel awful! And I had the most hideous nightmares. |
|
|